I believe that God is sovereign. He knows what he is doing. I also believe that a humans have free will. Some of the things that God has allowed me to experience in my life are for my own good - to make me a stronger person to bless me, to help me learn patience, compassion, love, and many other attributes I would have never had unless he had guided me down a certain path. I also believe that God gives us free will. We are allowed to make good decisions and some really stupid ones.
As a parent I have learned that sometimes my little ones need to have natural consequences for their actions. If Little Bear doesn't eat his dinner he goes to bed hungry. I could give in and fix his empty tummy and give him ice cream for dinner, but then he wouldn't learn that he needs to eat the good nutritious food I put in front of him. There are other times that I must step in and stop the natural consequence from happening. Like when my 11 month old is heading towards the hot stove. Not only would she burn herself, but she is not ready to learn the lesson that the stove is hot and should be avoided. When Bear was 18 months I took him to the warm stove - it was warm enough to be a little scary - but not warm enough to hurt him and taught him what hot meant. I let him touch it. He recoiled as I said hot over and over. He said "dot." It wasn't hot enough to hurt him, but it was hot enough to teach him a lesson. Form that point on he had a healthy respect for "hot."
I think God works in a very similar way. He knows what each person can handle. He know the lessons that each individual needs to learn. He saves some of us from the natural consequences of our actions and allows another in the very same situation to suffer from their actions. Is it harsh? Yes. But I have to believe in God and his sovernty. He sees the plan for my life and works all things together for good. Do I understand? Heck no. Do I believe He knows best? Most days. I question, oh man do I question why. But I have to believe that he does this for this reason - so that He may be glorified through me.
Some days this is almost impossible to comprehend that he would allow me to go through some of the awful things He has. Why did I have to ______ (reliquish, be raped, loose my job, have my best friend die, face infertillity). But some days I look around and find it impossible to believe how much he has blessed me - how he has taken me from the ultimate low spot in my life to this point now where I am so richly blessed by His grace and mercy. But most days I fall in between and plod on knowing that he choose me
for this reason - and although I might not see the big plan, I know that ultimately that He wants to be glorified through me. I also know that God wants good things for his children and so it can't all be bad, there is so much good too. I just have to be willing to accept both.
