October Baby is the latest feel good film from the Christian film industry. I loathe the premise behind this movie. Lets break it down shall we? A note: there are plenty of spoilers in this review.If you want the quick version of my criticism it is this: This film is full of adoption cliches that are largely believed by society, mainly Christian society. It once again proves that the telling of a story to propagate a pro-life agenda is more important to filmmakers than finding out the intricacies of adoption and portraying them in a realistic light.
The protagonist of “October Baby” is named Hannah. She is an aspiring actress that finds out though a series of events that she is adopted. Let me repeat this: a full grown woman does not know she is adopted. This rarely happens today. This is an idea that takes adoption back fifty years when it was shameful to adopt, and therefore must be kept a secret. It propagates the blank slate theory that says that adoptive parents can mold a child to their family just like the child was biologically theirs, so it is not necessary to tell the child they are adopted. This has been proven not to be the case, we now know that biology forms a great deal of who a child is as well as nurture. It is not just appearance that gets passed down from mother to child. And yet the film makers make their first move in propagating old adoption myths and stereotypes thus setting the tone for dated ideas about adoption, adoptees, birth mothers, and even adoptive parents.
Hannah finds out that she was adopted because she collapses following a play and the ensuing medical tests that are the result. When Hannah confronts her adoptive parents they admit that she was born early and she was adopted. It frustrates me here to no end that the adoptive parents hid medical information from their own daughter. Even as an adult, they kept important medical information from an adoptee thus treating her as perpetual child. This is something that adoptees know all to well, being treated as children. Adoptees are denied their original birth certificate and therefore have no access to their medical history. Once again other people have decided for the adoptee what is important for them, something that those of us that are not adopted will never have to struggle with. Yet the film doesn’t seem to be about the anger that Hannah has at her adoptive parents for lying to her and keeping secrets from her, it’s about forgiving her birthmother.
“October Baby” shows adoptive parents as insecure people that need to hide secrets instead of the post-modern adoptive parent that often realize how important identity is in a child. Most modern adoptive parents know that even though biology might be threatening to them, the emotional well-being of their adopted child is more important than any insecurity they have. Sure eighteen years ago in 1994, when Hannah was supposedly born, open adoption was new and semi-open adoption was being touted as the perfect solution because open adoption seemed scary to many. Regardless of that fact, in 1994, there were hundreds of books out about raising an adopted child, and none of those advocated lying to your adopted child and telling them they were yours biologically. There were even a few book that talked about fully open adoption, agencies touted semi-open as healthy alternative. Instead of doing research about adoptive options and attitudes in 1994, the filmmakers took adoption and adoptive parent’s attitudes back to the 1960‘s to suit their pro-life agenda.
When the adoptive parents reveal to Hannah that she is adopted they also reveal that she is the result of a botched abortion. Here is where I personally take the biggest issue with this movie. Yes, this is a possible story. Yes, there are women that have abortions that do not work and the result is the mother giving up their child for adoption. But this story line? It makes me angry. The vast majority of birth mothers love their children. The vast majority of birth mothers did not consider abortion for their child. In 1994 the preponderance of women giving up their children for adoption where white, middle class, christian, nineteen year old college freshman, that were told by the church that adoption was the right thing to do. These women were sent to maternity homes, they were kept in their parents houses away from prying eyes, they were told to be quiet and that they needed to pay penance for their sin of fornication by giving up their child for adoption. The majority of these girls in 1994 were strong pro-life Christian women who only considered abortion if their mothers took them to an abortion clinic to keep the shame away from them.
I get angry when the church and pro-lifers say that adoption is the alternative to abortion. It is not. Life is the alternative to abortion. Adoption is the alternative to parenting. These are two separate decisions that should not be made at the same time. Every woman that has ever been in a crisis pregnancy knows that first you decide if you want to have and abortion or not, then you decide what you are going to do with the baby once you decide to let the baby live. Once again, adoption is not the alternative to abortion.
Hannah goes on road trip to find her birth mother. Once she finds her, she is rejected by her. I admit, not an uncommon story. It is however not always true. Reunion is often longed for by birth mothers, sought after, hoped for, dreamed about, and generally wanted. Of course that would complicate the movie too much, it is much easier to fall back on the “birth mother moves on with her life and forgets about the child” way of thinking. From experience I can tell you that that is almost never true. It is now known that giving up your child for adoption produces trauma in most women. Birth mothers often have PTSD, need therapy, or have lifelong issues because of relinquishment. Often rejection during reunion is because a birth mother’s coping mechanisms became overwhelmed during post placement and she needed to shut down and shut out all memories to emotionally survive. Birth mothers do not forget, we do not simply move on. Healing is a process that really is never fully complete, pain, loss, and grief for most of us are part of our daily lives. It becomes bricks that we carry around with us and we learn to carry them, thus becoming stronger people, but yet so bogged down by the weight of it all.
There is a scene in this movie were Hannah’s birth mother is carrying a little girl. It is estimated that 40% of birth mothers go on to have secondary infertility and are never able to have children, some just choose not to, the trauma being too much for them. It false the idea that birth mothers can "just have another baby."
In conclusion, “October Baby” proves that it is pro-life propaganda instead of a honest portrayal of adoption. It makes me sad that adoptees are going to go to this movie and once again hear the myths and stereotypes that they are all too familiar with. It makes me sad that people will see this movie and think they know about adoption instead of an accurate portrayal of what adoption really is. It is upsetting that once again birth mothers will be vilified and yet at the same time portrayed as heroes for giving their child life. It angers me that this will be a catalyst for someone to adopt, not knowing the realities of adoption.
October Baby is just another film that gets adoption wrong.
