the boys, harry potter, mary jane, & the girls

did you all know that UPS is open on the Saturday that Harry Potter comes out? It’s crazy. They are having a sign up for the drivers if they want to work that day. The management says that it will be a full 8 hour day and all they we will be doing is delivering “The Deathly Hallows” all day long! Holy cow batman! That’s a lot of books. Of course I will also be anxiously awaiting my delivery from UPS or if my husband works that day, for him to get home with my copy.

Little Bear and I quite often frolic in the huge lawn that is outside our apartment. We are very lucky to life in a nice area that is relatively free of crime. Unfortunately, our apartment complex is the one spot in our entire area that is sometimes less than great. For example a couple of months ago around 9pm my hubby and I noticed a police officer with his gun drawn sneaking around the clubhouse. I was a little freaked out about that. I guess the police also think this might be a scary place. Later I found out that someone had just tripped the alarm when going into the workout room. It does make me feel a lot safer though that the police station is only ½ mile away and that they drive through our parking lots quite frequently. Anyhow as we were frolicking the yard I found this:

I thought “We really need to move if this is just randomly growing in our yard.” But after some research on the web I found out that it was just cinquefoil, a little herby-weed. Relief washed over me. Ahhh, I guess I don’t live in ghetto-land.

I’ve been exhausted lately. My princess just isn’t interested in food and at almost 8 months old and that is a really bad thing. She loves nursing and just doesn’t want to eat solids. She is also teething. . . . . Plus after 7 ½ months “she” finally came back. The only good thing about “her” coming back is that I thought I might be pregnant again because I was tired, crabby, etc . . . I was relived I wasn’t. But after more intent research I find “she” is a major reason for nursing woes. I was pumping in order to mix with her food so that she would eat better. Then I actually saw blood coming out with the milk I pumped. The pump went back in the closet – maybe never to come out again. The pain was so intense for a few days that I wanted to cry every time I nursed, but all is getting better. I just plain took a break from trying to feed her. Yesterday I could tell she needed more than just milk so we are going to start the battle again today. Any suggestions about late eaters and how to work with them would be VERY appreciated.

On the adoption front – I GOT A LETTER! Just when I needed one. A few days earlier I cried out to Jesus that I really needed something. I really think He knew and heard my prayer and saw the desperation of my heart. I think he moved her heart to write me. It is the fastest I have ever received a letter back (three ½ months). I am praying that it is the start of really good things for our relationship. I admit that if I am more stable (about contact and my life – or at least appear to be)than maybe their mom will be more willing to write me. I don’t think I have been as stable as they had hoped. Maybe? I know so, and I am ashamed of it. But I am committed to be more consistent with them and maybe just maybe something good will happen . . . at least I can pray in that direction.