Almost 14 years ago I left my babies in someone else arms and walked away. Today I left my little baby in a clinic adjacent to that hospital and had to drive away. It seemed cruel. It was so much harder letting go off my tiny little baby who had no life inside of it anymore than I would have thought possible. My heart broke as I walked out of that building into that stupid parking lot. The parking lot that is connected to the same one of the hospital where I had to walk away from my twins. Tears flowed. Sobs were stifled. My only thoughts were of my baby, not of my adoption loss. I am so angry. I want my baby back. I can't believe that I had to carry my baby into a clinic and leave it there. It's not fair. It's not right. No mother should have to do that.
My body hurts not only from the trauma of loosing a baby, but from the stress and emotional turmoil that is within it.
I'm just so tired.
1 comment:
(((Heather))) Thinking of you often.
busymama
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